0 Sweet Escape

Well it end up that I've let myself revolve in some kind of metanoia but then again, it has just become just a sort of I don't know, maybe I made the same mistake again. It's like yesterday was okay, and then suddenly, like you don't know where you're at. It's like the black hole started to do this vacuum thing, well it's not suppose to be that way, I more of like treat that black hole as something that make me do good and nothing else. And then now it seems that it had taken more of like all the good things in me.

I don't know if I'm weighing things the right way, or is it there any?

Maybe it'll be the last good thing I'll do. I'd like to stop. I'll stop making believe that I'm still revolving into something that I've created, and get stuck. I'll wait for some time, then I'll decide maybe If I want to do these things, I've lost some connection to the most important muscle in my body, I've lost my inspiration. 

I want my life back. 

I don't want any option.

I'd like to stop this overflowing sadness that grows with hatred and then blended with some kind of masochistic happiness, I annoyed myself enough. And I intentionally stopped what I as doing and tried to get myself into pieces I was. But then, I lost everything I thought I'd never, ever have to worry about. Is this part of another 101? I hate to think it will, but I'm wishing that it'll never be.

Take this confusion away.